12 AM | October 17, 2017

The discovery

Never have I welcome the color red so warmly in my life
Weeks before I planned my big night, a devil red dress was already in my sights
As red as the apple in Eden, the color looked sinful and liberating

And so it was

Days before my birthday, I found blood
Dripping from my thighs, I almost cursed the universe
I wanted to cry “why”

But the color came as an opportunity to realize
I was undergoing a purge
My body being cleansed from within, from my insides

The freedom


All that is dead must leave my womb…
That made me think about the corpses of love affairs I stored there too

I saw the freedom the universe sought to give me
After my sacrifice and the dawn of my new year I would have a pure body

Untouched and unmarred by men and womxn

I would be free from all hands that aren’t mine
My body to become a temple for all that is divine

And since I have no god, nor a Nicene Creed to heed
I prostrate myself towards the Atlantic
I reconcile my spirit with the sea
I thank the water before and the water inside me

The understanding


So I’ve come to learn that red is the purest color
For it is through water and blood cells that I maintain my life and bloodline
It is through blood that I am made pure…made clean

It is through the purging and multiplication of blood cells that I will be healed


Images by Neo Baepi (@neonohetero)