You know what if feels like, don’t you?
You know what it feels like to always be their second option but never their first.
You know what it’s like to wake up with an exhausted spirit from fighting with them to stay, don’t you?
The closest they have ever been towards your heart, is when they stepped in to unbutton your shirt & un-clip your bra.
That the only time they’ve ever bent over for you, was when they helped you look for your other shoe & lost earring, the morning after.
The only time they held on to you for dear life, was when they were stealing the glory in between your thighs & were near climax.
The only time they ever really heard you, was when you were moaning in confused amusement soaked in emotional agony, when they, with your permission, broke into your hymen and stole the
sunshine from your spine.
You know what it’s like, don’t you?
To have them leave with promises to call, but they never do.
To stretch your tongue from your throat, in attempt to white wash their lies to your heart, every time they break their promises to stay.
Why does it surprise you this time?
We wake up so heavy from the unspoken apologies they place on our shoulders, unsolicited falsehood.
Yet, we rise with our withered strength because we live with the spirit of Moses and Noah.
We are granted the sun, the moon & the stars from a Higher being & we go on, because it is all we need.
All that makes sense when the Judas’ we call lovers, friends & family betray us & leave.
We are bigger than broken promises, white lies & false sanctuaries.
We are our own homes.
Our own comforts.
Our favorite first cup of coffee in the morning.
And our own best looking morning dew view over fresh, green, Summer lawn.
Image by © Tinuke Eboka